Sometimes I get the distinct impression
There’s an undercurrent beneath us
Threatening to pull us apart
And lay waste to my fragile heart.
I question if you would be similarly affected
Is what I see a careful act?
I wish I could name this strange emotion
But instead I sit with this unsettling commotion.
The Unknowing.
I keep watching. Waiting. Observing.
A part of me wants to declare this chapter over.
Finality would resolve the ambiguity.
But I resist.
I keep watching.
I keep waiting.
For you to leave I suppose.
But you keep returning.
Each day you’re there.
Each day I see your effort.
In the past I’ve been wrong to make those things mean something about me.
Maybe you don’t stay
Because of me or even because of us
Maybe you stay
Because of what leaving would mean to you.
For the time being you’re still here
And in those moments we’re together I’m relieved and I breathe
But when we’re apart I can’t help but hold my breath and wonder
Will the current pull us under?