I’ve been looking for him for years. In the deepest corner of my heart, I believe he existed. That he was out there looking for me on some level, whether conscious or subconscious.
To allow him into my heart, my soul, I will need to let go of some things to make room. Like a dusty old attic room with sheets covering the aging furniture, there is not enough room to simply let him in. Twenty something years ago I would have gladly taken him in, letting him fill the corners of my mind and heart with his presence, his essence, and never looked back. Perhaps I would’ve lost sight of myself in so doing, but I would have been happy.
That was not meant to be. I could only hope that we are on parallel journeys, with similar outcomes, that would place us both together at the same time.
I know in time our paths will cross, a bit of chance, a bit of serendipity.
I need to make more room for him. I will clean the dusty old attic and get rid of the baggage I’ve been holding onto all these years. The baggage that both simultaneously leads me to him and keeps me from him. Am I ready to let go? Am I ready to let him fully and completely move into my soul?
My brokenness leads me to him, and for that I am strangely grateful. Without it, would I know who I am? And would he know me?
